Toxic Emotionality & Avoidant Non-Emotionals

Understanding the Emotional landscape of the not-self world

Introduction the Solar Plexus Center

The Solar Plexus Center is the center of (potential) emotional and social or spiritual awareness that is currently undergoing a mutation. Currently in Homo sapiens in transitus, it is fully operational as a motor center. In other words, it causes cyclical emotional waves in the world. The wave begins in those with defined solar plexus centers (approximately 50% of the population), who experience cyclical biochemical emotional lows and highs within themselves – which are then experienced by the other 50% through aura interaction. The emotional waves, when waited on, bring emotional and social clarity to the surface.

The Different Frequencies of the Emotional Waves

While each emotional wave is highly differentiated, for the sake of understanding patterns, there are four overarching frequencies in which emotional waves operate.

• The Source Wave (Channel of Mating 59-6): This wave is responsible for emotional clarity around sexual and relational intimacy. It is also the source of all other emotional waves. In its pattern, this wave is quite stable until someone brings out its mood to intimately connect or not. It can break barriers and build deep intimacy with others and it can also retreat and build deep intimacy with oneself. From the outside looking in, it can look like an emotional wave that is dormant until it is not. In other words, someone with this wave can appear to be quite unemotional or neutral until they are not.

  

• The Tribal Waves (Channel of Synthesis 19-49 & Channel of Community 37-40): These waves are responsible for emotional clarity around the needs of the tribe, including oneself. These waves ratchet up until they explode and then reset to start the process again. These people can look quite emotionally explosive and dramatic to others. They seem to fight over “petty” issues that are quite mundane in nature. However, these waves are here to gain emotional depth around what keeps their community together and how needs get met through social interaction. From the outside looking in, it looks like these people are quite sensitive and cyclically volatile when it comes to needs of oneself and others they love.

  

• The Individual Waves (Channel of Emoting 39-55 & Channel of Openness 22-12): These waves are responsible for emotional clarity around individual passions. These waves spike up & down quite often and can be experienced as pulse on and pulse off. When the waves are low, these people can experience melancholy, pain, anti-socialness; and while the waves are high, they can experience immense passion, creativity and social openness. From the outside looking in, these people appear to be quite moody and their mood shifts from one extreme to another quite often. They can go from being super passionate to being completely uninterested or spiritless in seconds.

  

• The Collective Abstract Waves (Channel of Recognition 41-30 & Channel of Transitoriness 36-35): These waves are responsible for emotional clarity around desires. These waves move from peaks to valleys and crash when expectations of an experience are not met. From the outside looking in, these people appear to go from being quite excited about something, sometimes even to the point of delusion, to then being crushed by their expectations not being met after the experience. They move between cycles of desire and disappointment and very often their disappointment is not with oneself but the experience they have with others.

  

These emotional waves are biochemical processes that half the population experiences without needing any external impetus. In other words, the emotional waves of the Solar Plexus are not a result of external circumstances but a result of the body’s inner process of developing emotional clarity around relational intimacy, needs, passions and desires which are serving individuals, communities and the collective of Homo sapiens in transitus. Therefore, the emotional waves are not something to be feared but a natural process that needs to be understood and nurtured. 

Toxic Emotionality

Toxic emotionality or emotional chaos is a result of emotional people (defined solar plexus) acting on their feelings in the moment. Emotional people are designed to ride through their emotional highs and lows before making a decision. They are here to learn the discipline of not reacting to their feelings in the moment. But this is not easy to do, especially because the Solar Plexus is an immature motor that houses a lot of energy, which can also be further motorised by the pressure of the Root Center, sometimes even the willpower of the Ego and the life-force of the Sacral Center. Their tendency is to get drawn into experiences by the high end of their wave and get drawn out by the low end of their wave. This results in pure chaos. Emotional impulsivity never allows them to reach a place of clarity within themselves and as a result everyone suffers. One, because there is never any emotional clarity around intimacy, needs, passions and desires for people. And two, because these waves of chaos are absorbed by the undefined emotional people and amplified and distorted along the way, which leaves everyone nervous of emotional people and emotions at large. It is not news to anyone that we as a collective are highly threatened by emotions and emotional people. And this is partly because we are constantly exposed to premature expression of emotional energy which can be very chaotic and draining in experience.

Unhealthy emotional people are highly impatient and act spontaneously when their wave fluctuates in any direction. When an experience is uncertain or induces nervousness, the mind’s answer is always action. “Maybe if I do this, then this feeling will neutralize”, thinks the mind of a defined SP. What they don’t realise is that no matter what they do or don’t do anymore, the feelings always come back and that that is not a problem to be solved. The problem is acting on emotional energy when it gains momentum or charge without reaching emotional clarity – that is what causes emotional chaos in their life and their environment. 

Having said all of this, the experience of an emotional person is extremely difficult. In a world that does not educate on the importance and the value of the duality of emotions, waiting through inner turmoil or ecstasy can be extremely difficult. When one cannot escape inner chaos and inner bliss and perceives it as something wrong or something to act on immediately, outer chaos is inevitable. And that is the reality of the world we live in. We live in a world, in which half its population is suffering to accept and reconcile with its emotionality, and the other half is running as far away from them as possible because their experience of emotionality is chaotic and overwhelming.

Signs of a Healthy Emotional Being

• Someone who witnesses their emotions instead of immediately reacting out of them

• Someone who takes responsibility for their premature emotional outbursts, if any

• Someone who is patient when it comes to decision-making

• Someone who doesn’t let others rush them into things

• Someone who knows not to justify their emotions mentally or to judge them as favorable or unfavorable

• Someone who acknowledges their mood and doesn’t force feeling something different

• Someone who finds a way to express their emotions creatively when needed

• Someone who does not wrong themselves for being unclear till clarity arrives naturally

• Someone who knows when to take time to themselves to process things

• Someone who is secure in their uncertain (mindless) clarity

• Someone who does not perceive emotional nervousness as a problem to be solved

• Someone who is compassionate towards the truths of others when they share it

• Someone who is disciplined about how and what they share with others

• Someone who prioritizes their inner process of reaching clarity before sharing it

Avoidant Non-Emotionals

The number one pitfall of undefined SPs is identification with their emotional environment. Undefined SPs often become the face of the emotional chaos around them. Because they experience, amplify and distort the emotions of others, they are most likely to look like the ones creating the emotional chaos. And even if they don’t begin the confrontation, they definitely end up reacting extremely emotionally and uncharacteristically during it, after which they may experience tremendous amounts of shame for their behavior. I remember this one time when I was in a confrontation with an ex-partner who was emotional, I ended up throwing a piece of decor across the room in a fit of anger. This event shocked me to my core because I didn’t know myself to be capable of that. I ended up losing so much confidence in myself as a result and spent years in therapy trying to make sense of what had happened and why I did what I did. Undefined SPs might diagnose themselves as unstable, untrustworthy and reactive because they are constantly amplifying and distorting emotional waves of chaos without any awareness of the mechanics underneath. This may turn them off relationships altogether.

Another huge part of the problem when it comes to emotional and social wellbeing of Homo sapiens in transitus is the reaction of the undefined SPs to the emotional landscape that they experience. While unemotional people love the emotional high of defined SPs, they often label their lows as toxic and manipulative. Over time, there is a realization of, “I’m way too emotional around them, whereas when I’m alone things are quite smooth and non-confrontational… so they must be the problem”. You see, the undefined SP is not designed to withstand the heat or the emotional fluctuations that come along with the defined emotional center, especially not without awareness. In a relationship, they may eventually diagnose the emotional being as unstable, unreasonable and rash and themselves as someone who does not need to deal with such behavior, especially after going to therapy and watching a few tiktoks on toxic love and boundary setting. You know this is a trend for a reason. And the reason is not that the kids are “woke” these days. The reason is that nobody is really aware of these mechanics.

The dynamic between the emotionals and the non-emotionals can play out many different ways but what I see happening most often in relationship between an emotional and an unemotional person, is that in the beginning the undefined SP tries to solve the “problem” of emotional chaos, especially the chaotic lows, by avoiding confrontation and withholding their truth. Especially because they can misdiagnose themselves as being the reactive one. But eventually the tables turn, they realise that the problem is the other person, they are “toxic” one. I myself had mislabeled my ex-partner who was emotional as a narcissist who had no compassion for my truth and feelings. Truth is, I lied about my truth for a very long time because my mind was scared of experiencing the emotional lows that it anticipated would result from such confrontations. It was so much easier to please them until I could no longer continue to do so. And then they were the devil, someone who robbed me of my truth and an easy breezy life without any emotional confrontation. 

Not only are emotional people unable to reconcile with their emotionality and find their way to clarity, the unemotional people are also extremely triggered by chaotic emotions to the point of becoming avoidant. Unemotional people feel exhausted by the energy it takes to process emotions frequently. Truth is, it is exhausting and potentially disruptive if one is not aware of the dynamics and how to operate correctly in them. But this does not mean, non-emotionals need to avoid emotional people altogether. They just need to learn to engage with emotional people correctly and have compassion for their process.

Signs of a Healthy Non-Emotional

• Someone who witnesses their emotional landscape without identifying with it 

• Someone who reflects back to others their feelings in an objective manner rather than blaming them

• Someone who does not people-please to avoid confrontation

• Someone who does not lie to oneself or others to temporarily ease things

• Someone who does not prioritize living a superficial life simply because they perceive it as being easier than dealing with emotions

• Someone who sets adequate boundaries when they experience unclear emotional waves of chaos

• Someone who does not make emotional decisions

• Someone who does not wrong themselves for suddenly being full of feelings

• Someone who takes time alone to release stuck emotions

• Someone who is not intolerant of emotions but is discerning of them

• Someone who learns from the emotional environment and becomes wise about relationships

• Someone who is empathetic of others and their emotions

• Someone who allows oneself to be tired of emotional confrontation when necessary knowing this too will pass

Some Guidance

If you are emotional, allow yourself to feel your feelings. You are not broken because you feel low. There is nothing wrong with your life because you cyclically experience pain. It is simply chemistry. Try not to make mental stories about why you’re feeling what you’re feeling, these lead you astray from your process and therefore, your clarity. Try not to engage with others when you are emotionally charged. When you develop the discipline to wait for your clarity and engage with others from that place, you contribute immensely to the field of spiritual awareness. Those that seek to gain from your emotional depth will wait for you to reach your clarity, in fact that is the very exchange they are looking for. When feeling emotionally charged or when someone reflects back to you your emotional charge, don’t take it as an insult. It is an opportunity for you to lean into your feelings so you can process them. Also, ask others how they are feeling and what is true for them in relationship with you. Being curious about the emotional states of others around you can help you develop compassion for their experience and in turn, aid in developing a better relationship with them. If you encounter yourself acting out of heightened emotions, acknowledge and recognise that with others. If you encounter the other being highly emotional, take time to reflect on what may be happening instead of one-upping the other. Take time alone to process your feelings when you need to and take witness to what clarity feels like in your system. While you are here to make emotional decisions, making decisions from emotional clarity is very different from making decisions from charged emotions. Be in your process with your feelings and share your clarity with those that are not turned off by your emotional highs and lows and those that respect you enough to wait for you to process for however long you need to.

If you are unemotional, stop identifying with and making mental stories about the emotions you experience. This does not mean you need to avoid emotions. In fact, it is quite the opposite. You are here to be conditioned by emotions so you can learn about the different emotional frequencies that exist on our plane and gain wisdom about who is emotionally, socially and spiritually well in the world. You may not be emotional yourself but you are here to be wise about emotional people. Do not lose confidence when you get submerged in waves of emotions, breathe through it and try to witness it as much as possible. Do not lie to yourself or others about what you experience. Confronting others with the truth of the situation is a huge part of being yourself in the world. Remember that the nervousness passes and so do the emotions after the confrontation and often the confrontation is never as bad as you had imagined. Sharing your truth is never going to alienate the right people for you. In fact, this is exactly what will bring you closer. It is okay to reflect to others their emotional charge but make sure to do that without blame and with compassion for the other. If you find yourself too charged to do that, step away till things calm down and it is the right time to come back together to reflect on what happened. What you perceive as rocking the boat is often the necessary communication that both parties need in order to grow together. Avoiding emotional confrontations is not the solution to having healthy relationships – being truthful and compassionate is much better. It can be helpful to move the body when you are feeling overwhelmed or to creatively channel emotions in a way that you can release them from your system. Your empathy is your superpower and it can remain so when you are discerning and compassionate towards those that are different from you. Share your truth vulnerably and allow others to get to their clarity too.

Spiritual awareness is the basis of the world we are moving towards in evolution and both halves of the population have their unique roles to play in developing emotional clarity for Homo sapiens in transitus. Emotional clarity is the closest that we as a species can get to emotional awareness. And this can only happen through being aware and cognizant of our own unique process as well as having deep recognition and compassion for the process of others that are different from us. When more emotional clarity comes into our world, we all benefit from it. And yet, all we can do is play our unique role. Make sure to take responsibility for your role.

Do leave a comment to share your unique perspective, I’m always curious to learn how other nine-centered beings see what I see from their perspective. And also don’t forget to share this article with anyone who could benefit from it.

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